


He Made Me Feel Like I Belong

by NightfireRed



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, POV - Paul
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-29 10:33:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3893140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightfireRed/pseuds/NightfireRed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Initially Nico was supposed to be nothing but one night stand. How did something simple as that become so complicated? <br/>He was just a good looking guy turned out as the person I cherished like no one else ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Made Me Feel Like I Belong

**Author's Note:**

> Well, hello, guys.   
> This story, as usual, is unbeta`d, but this time it also lacks a proper plot (not pwp though). It`s fluffy angsty shapeless something that somehow I personally like a lot.  
> So you`ve been warned. Enjoy :)  
> P.S. - in case you need soundtrack - listen to the song "Happy" by Marina and The Diamonds. it creates the right mood for reading :)

It was Thursday (Wednesday or maybe Friday?) and that was one of the shittiest days in my whole life. For the first time moving to different city didn`t seem like the greatest idea at all, the ecstasy from changes and new emotions had worn off and I looked at the world around without pink-tinted glasses. No one promised that life after graduation would be easily sweet, of course. But getting fired from the third job during six months wasn’t something I was mentally prepared for. Bosses gave me fake smiles saying that I`d done great job but they had found someone new.   
I was fired not because I had done something wrong but because they had found someone better.  
Lame logic. 

First thought was to get wasted. Yes, that was how I decided to spend that night. But someone had other plans on me.

His name was Nico. I couldn`t resist his sweet smile and suggestive talk and that was how we ended up in his apartment. Both of us were drunk and seek nothing more but simple physical satisfaction in company of some hot looking person.

Just like that, except something went wrong that night. 

The key for keeping distance is avoiding details. All those small things that make person special. I allowed myself to come too close by looking at Nico sleeping right beside me in the same bed with pristine white sheets. Well, not that pristine after what had happened couple of hours before, to be honest. 

I noticed too many details. The blurred memories occupied my mind while I was looking through the web pages with job offers. Distractions… How almost feverishly hot was Nico`s skin under my touches, softness of his blond hair and flashes of pleasure in kind eyes. And he liked to have the whole blanket only to himself.

I didn`t plan to dial Nico`s number, which he`d written on the back of some receipt the morning after. But later that day I found myself sitting in some coffee shop listening to Nico`s idly chattering about something. I realized he had German accent. And I found that extremely cute.   
Funny, there we were, having great time together just chatting like the night before had never happened. And it didn`t bother any of us, never minding the fact that I couldn`t tear gaze away from hickeys on Nico`s neck. My job.

Three or four weeks of hanging out together occasionally - and Nico invited me to his apartment. That time it felt like I`d never been there before. In the daylight the whole place looked pretty stylish. All walls were painted in plain white color; furniture was mostly black with bright colorful glimpses here and there of book covers, pillows or huge teacups left almost on every surface. The furnishings may looked minimalistic but with just right amount of personal stuff scattered around it was saying some things about owner`s personality.   
Nico caught me closely studying the row of textbooks, notebooks and just papers with some draws and diagrams on the bookshelf which was barely attached to the wall in the hallway. Nico uncertainly waved his hand at my suggestion to fix the bookshelf saying he`d do it when it falls down. I learnt that he was engineering student and it was his last year till receiving of diploma.   
Clever boy. I liked it more than I should.  
I didn`t want to leave and Nico didn`t want to let me go after enormous amount of various flavored tea had been drunk and almost every topic possible had been discussed. Besides it was very appealing perspective for both of us to spend all night cuddling with raindrops outside drumming against windows of Nico`s apartment on the fourth floor.  
Since that drunken encounter almost month before we`d been acting nothing more but in a friendly manner, without even making out or something in that order. Nico flopped on the bed and patted space near and I had no choice but to hesitantly lay down as well. That time sheets were in mint green color and there was some black and white pattern on pillows and blanket.   
Suddenly more memories flashed in my mind: Nico`s soft whimpers, his long fingers tightly gripping the sheets, bruising kisses…  
He wished me goodnight, turned lights off and involved me in warm embrace. I hugged him back. Perfect.

Next time we met long time later. Nico had final exams approaching and all his free time was filled with studying while I got a new job which was located in the opposite part of the city, six times a week hour and a half hour long trips had completely worn me off. But well paid position and perspective of promotion in the nearest future were great motivation and justification for impossible schedule. Who said being a lawyer was easy?

The first thing I saw after entering Nico`s home were messy pile of books on the floor and shelf leaned against the wall. I still didn`t get how future engineer was so helpless when it came to household stuff. Damn, that guy could build some spaceship with his eyes closed if he would like. He`d been looking in awe while I easily attached the shelf back on its designated place. Once the job had been done Nico excitedly squeaked and kissed my cheek. Though I hadn`t done anything particularly tremendous it was still very sweet of him to react that way. 

And Nico wore glasses. He looked damn hot in them. How come I hadn`t noticed that before? 

Maybe the time for something really special had come and I gave Nico two tickets for British Grand Prix. To say he was overjoyed would be a huge understatement. He beamed and next moment our lips were extremely close. He whispered “thank you” and then I felt how soft and slightly trembling his lips were. I cupped his face and gently broke the contact. Nico looked confused and hint of hurt ran across his pretty face. I sadly smiled and squeezed his cold hand. It`d always been chilly in his apartment. 

After seemed like tenth time of Nico`s begging to pay at least for petrol it was starting to get old. I had completely paid for weekend trip to Silverstone chasing the purpose of gradually spoiling Nico. It felt right because the desire of having him completely to myself was becoming more and more irresistible. But the possibility of messing the whole thing up by rushing events was frightening me to death. It would be better to go slowly and gradually. Sometimes I even doubted if I ever had Nico moaning and wriggling underneath me or it was just a wishful thinking. 

Every racing weekend is special and great, Silverstone wasn`t an exception. Nico confessed he hadn`t been at any races since his moving from Germany here, in England. Attending every German GP had been a must for him for almost six years.  
I followed Nico everywhere he liked; we explored area around the track and even managed to spend some time near boxes. I didn`t remember much of the racing aspect of those two days, not to mention all the scientific facts about cars Nico had been telling me lively almost constantly. Spending time together, enjoying his company and admiring his beauty – I cherished every second of it. 

We never discussed our relationship or took commitment of something serious, but neither of us dated anyone tough. It wasn’t prohibited and we didn`t promise each other anything. But somehow seeing someone else felt like cheating.   
Saturday evening after qualification Nico and I spent in our small and cozy hotel room. I loved the sensation of complete calmness as all the everyday problems had been left far away behind in the city. We cuddled. Actually we did that a lot every time we had our time together. Physical contact of such kind had been more than enough until that night.   
Until I looked at Nico and understood that I had fallen. For him. In love.

Initially Nico was supposed to be nothing but one night stand. How did something simple as that become so complicated?   
He was just a good looking guy turned out as the person I cherished like no one else ever.

Moving here I imagined like the clear sequence of events: getting the well-paid job right after the university, then buying decent house and car, travelling all around the world. And marriage with some hot looking brunette.   
Instead of this standard set I got notorious employment history, rented apartment somewhere in not particularly luxurious part of the city and engineering student from Germany. The last one was such a sweetie. I would have never changed him for anything else.  
We snuggled on the cozy armchair; Nico was sitting on my lap, leaning against my torso, his forehead pressed in the crook of my neck. I was enjoying his expressing of that day`s emotions and also marveling Nico himself. How cute he looked in his glasses (I had asked him to wear it more instead of contacts) and how adorably his blond hair was ruffled. I loved every single thing about that guy. 

Nico squeaked when I unexpectedly lifted him and gently laid him on the bed. He was smiling and expectantly looking me in the eye. I leaned down tracing his lips with thumb, he playfully tried to bite my fingers.   
Mischievous little kitten.   
And finally the kiss, so soft. Nico arched seeking more contact. Maybe I would never have enough of his quiet whimpers of pleasure becoming more impatient with every second. Next phrase brought tears in my eyes, so desperate he sounded pleading to fuck him.   
I couldn`t. Not like that.   
You deserved something more special than quick and raw sex on the uncomfortable hotel bed.   
If Nico was disappointed he had skillfully hid it. But nevertheless he understood and the rest of the night we made out without going further.   
During our first time I freaking used you. And by no means I`d like to repeat it in such way. 

 

For both of us that weekend was a gulp of fresh air. Runaway from all the problems. I was terrified to even check up the mail as I knew there`d be a ton of new work waiting.   
On the way back to the city Nico had a panic attack. The following week he had to take final exams and in less than a month complete his diploma work. Closer we were to the city center – paler he looked. Funny that less than a year ago I was in his shoes, but it seemed that the eternity had passed since then. I pulled up to the side of the road, got out of the car and waved Nico to do the same. He sobbed saying that he would fail and overall knew nothing; he was scared and looked tired. He cried burying his face in my shoulder, trying to comfort him I wrapped one hand around his waist bringing Nico`s trembling body closer and with the other ran through his soft blond hair. It grew significantly since the day we met and hair started to fall into his eyes. Nico believed in some weird things and omens, one of which said that if you have your hair cut before exams all the knowledge will go away as well.   
Whispers of reassurance that everything was going to be just fine (because why shouldn`t it be?) calmed him down a bit. Uncontrollable tears bordering with hysteria let him go so far. Nico wiped his puffy eyes with the sleeves of hoodie I gave him to keep him warm during the race.  
In less than an hour we were back at his apartment again. 

Someone ever noticed the moment when someone else`s home becomes yours too? Maybe it happens when you know all the tiny things about it, like where teabags are stored, which of the two light switches actually work or that the crack in the wall will appear again someday so it is pointless to try fixing it. And the last one – you`ve got your own teacup there and some of your personal stuff could be found all around the apartment.   
I really had to go back home that evening, get ready for the following day`s nasty work. Nico was so close to break me. But we had to avoid tempting distractions at least for that week to come. I was cruel, I know, but my suggestion worked its magic – I promised that after all the exams would be passed he would get right to do with me whatever he liked. But until then – only texting or calls. He eagerly nodded and kissed me goodbye so deeply and hot as never before.   
Bet he couldn`t wait for the end of that week as much as I did. 

As expected my nerdy German boyfriend (Yes, we made it official. He just called me on Thursday morning and simply stated that I got no other choice but to agree dating him. Easy.) got straight A`s for exams. He was so elated like never expected that coming. No one was so proud of him like I did. He was brainy and cute and just perfect. Sometimes it was overwhelming, the thought that he was mine.

Every cell of my body was exhilarated in sweet anticipation of our date. Technically it was our first one as a couple, but countless times before we had all kinds of nights out possible. Time for romantic stuff. Flipping through our pictures in my phone, goodnight texts and simple calls of exchanging day`s news – it was good, but I awfully missed him. Missed everything about Nico. My love.

There was nothing better than cupcakes and hot coffee in such rainy and chilly weather. Neither of us wanted anything too pretentious or expensive like Michelin-starred restaurant. This small coffeeshop was just perfect. I learnt that he preferred very sweet treats: sugary cakes with chocolate icing, vanilla and strawberry milkshakes, chocolate chip cookies... He fed me all those sweets piece by piece; I licked his fingers clean… How Nico could besides all those sweetness oblivion also drink something like cappuccino or latte remained a mystery. I always drank simple black coffee which Nico proclaimed to be too bitter for his liking. It was great we got different tastes. Opposites attract, or how do they say.

I could swear that I never wanted anything or anyone as much as him. It was the right moment. No rush. He took the lead immediately and pressed me against the door right after it was closed. How eager and horny he acted, how commanding his voice was with more obvious German notes in it.   
Where had that shy student disappeared?   
He was the first person ever who made me beg for something.   
Nico was pretty kinky in anything that related to sex. Pretty and kinky. He blindfolded me when we reached the bed, clothes was left on the floor marking the path from the hallway to bedroom. Since I was unable to see anything but darkness, all other senses intensified immensely. He gently pushed my chest and I softly flopped on the bed. Then – nothing for several seconds, but sound of opening drawer and rustling of some stuff. I felt how Nico straddled my hips and ran cold fingers against my hot skin causing the trace of goosebumps to follow his touch.   
We`d been waiting for long time, mostly because of my hesitance and fear, now he took his time to savor every sweet moment.   
Wish I could see his face graced with pleased grin. I could almost feel Nico smiling. I asked him to kiss me. He didn`t obey and sweetly painful bit my collarbone. Later he let me know I wasn`t allowed to speak unless he asked. Guess I`d lost my usual dominant role.  
He apologized by licking drops of blood from my bitten skin, during our kiss the copper taste was so clear. His hot breath right on my wildly beating pulse, soft lips leaving harsh bruises – I was already falling apart though we hadn`t even started. I never wished for this to ever end.  
And did I mention that Nico gave me the most amazing blowjob ever experienced? I tugged his hair lightly. I lasted embarrassingly short time, but it was too intense, especially hearing his moans mixed with hot wet sound. Apparently Nico could read minds or something, he did everything just as I liked.  
He chuckled and took away blindfold.  
Our eyes met. I wanted to keep that image in mind forever. So close to me – the living image of lust and perfection. I placed hands on his hips, holding him tight like I wanted to tell him he was mine. Only mine. Fingertips leaving purple marks on his tender skin.  
He winked and ripped the silver square package of condom with teeth. Before rolling it on, he teasingly stroked me couple of times. Right before he sank down and I could feel how warm and tight he was, I gave him quizzed look, he just shrugged at that and said that he prepped himself while sucking me off. 

Oh. 

Nico started in steady and slow rhythm, riding me. It wasn`t enough. Breaking the rules I changed the position, now he was trapped between bed and my body. He didn`t expect that, yet his expression was nothing but raw desire. With every my move he moaned louder digging nails in my back. Some German words left his lips, they were lost in our heated kiss.   
I asked him to look at me when we were close to the ecstasy and peak of pleasure. The picture of Nico loosing himself because of me – I`d never seen anything more marvelous. He moaned my name arching his back and I felt hot cum between our bodies. It was the last overwhelming drop and I came apart too.   
Catching our breaths, inbetween lazy kisses we said it to each other for the first time.   
“Love you”  
“Love you too”  
I really meant it. And I knew he did too.

 

Then events had been happening and changing like in weird kaleidoscope. Nico successfully graduated, I was promoted, we celebrated his birthday in August and travelled across Europe in autumn. We were just happy. Happy like no one else. He got really cool job in Austria, it would be mean to make him stay only because I couldn`t go there too. We did our best to keep the contact on the closest level possible, like saving money to catch planes to just spend together even a day. But as almost every long distance relationship it didn`t last long. In March he said that it all was too much for him, too emotionally hard. We broke up. Burned all bridges. I wanted to lie down on the floor and just die. All anger, hurt and depression I tried to cover with almost inhuman working hours. I just worked, avoiding any unnecessary thoughts. I lost sleep, I still couldn`t believe that part of my soul was just ripped away faster than a blink of an eye. There were tears and hollowness. Sometimes underground rails and lights of approaching train looked so tempting.  
I`d been promoted again. It was so generous of my boss to give me the position of general manager of the company`s branch in Monte freaking Carlo. Cool, right? Besides they provided amazing apartment and fast sport car. But not those things appealed to me the most.   
I was beyond eagerness to leave that cursed city. New life and leaving everything behind. Something great just had to happen after all the suffering and hurt I had overcome during those two years in England. 

And it really happened. In summer I met Laura. My healing, my salvation, my love. 

Now, having this black velvet box in my hands with ring in it, I know that all of the hardships totally worth it. Now I am happy and in love again. And I will never let her go. Never again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, cupcakes :) let me know what you think about it ~


End file.
